The Encouraging Crafter

Please indulge me a little in the fact that this is to my mom. I know that we are to pray and talk to God. I do that so much through the day because I need Jesus so much right now, but this post is about me talking to my mom. We learned in GriefShare to not pray to your loved one, so don’t think that is what I am doing, but it doesn’t hurt to talk with your loved one as long as you know that God is the one that hears your prayers and He is the one you should talk to.

So, the first Mother’s Day is coming up Sunday. It will be a hard day but I know you wouldn’t want me to be sad. I’m really working on that. I miss you like crazy. There are things I would like to talk with you about. I know you are up there with Jesus and you are worshipping Him. I long for the day that I can be there with you…worshipping Him together. I know in Heaven, there is no concept of time, but it feels like you have been gone so long, not just 3 months…and I know for you, it is just a blink of an eye.

Being the youngest by so many years, I had so much time alone time with you, but it just doesn’t feel like it was enough. I try hard to not feel cheated. That you won’t see my boys get married or have children of their own. It is such a selfish thing to want you here when you are experiencing so much joy that I cannot even comprehend. There are so many things I wonder about. I wonder if you have met the baby I miscarried. I wonder if it was a boy or a girl. I like to picture you holding that baby and rocking it. I wonder if you have met up with my mother in law lol. My two Joyce’s with Jesus. I had the best mother in law. I loved her so much as well and still miss her to this day. I have said before, I’m not a Bible scholar. I know what the Bible says about Heaven and that we will be together again. It’s just the details I am curious about. These are just some of the things I think about when I think of you.

You were the best mom. I still find it hard to say “were” in stead of “are”. Death didn’t make you quit being my mother. You are so missed. You are so loved. You are so cherished. I remember talking on the phone for hours when the boys were young. You were such a help to me. I wouldn’t be half the woman I am today without you. I thank God for you. I thank God for all the things you taught me. I remember you telling me when I was first married that your parents come last because they grow old and pass away, your kids come next because they grow up, leave and have their owns lives and you are left with your spouse. So always take care of that relationship. I have tried my best to live by that advise. There is so much I would love to still say to you, but I will leave it at these few things for now.

I would ask all of you that read this to pray for us on this Mother’s Day. It will be a difficult day but we will also try to find some joy as that is what my mom would want. And as always, if you need prayer, please feel free to contact me.

Lord, I come to you today thanking you for the life of my sweet momma. She was a blessing to her family and those that knew her. She was strong, feisty, loving, caring, generous, joyful, among many other things and that is because of you. You put those attributes into her being when she was being knit together in her mother’s womb. You knew her before me and I thank you for allowing me the pleasure of being her daughter. Please continue to be with us as we go through this difficult year of firsts without her. Help us to continue to find joy in the things around us and not just sadness because of our loss. Help us to draw closer to you through these times as a family and please tell her how much we love her!! I ask all these things in your Holy name…Amen!

Blessings,

Katrina