The Encouraging Crafter

When it comes to people who are close to passing, I have found that people handle things different ways. None of them are wrong because we are all different. I think for some it depends on the relationship you have with the person, how close you were with the person, and how your personality fits into the situation. I had people tell me during the last few months of my mom’s life how strong I was or how they didn’t know if they could handle things like me. There were even those who didn’t want to see my mom in the situation she was. They wanted to remember my mom how she was. I can completely understand that.

For me, I found joy in helping to take care of my mom. I found joy in helping her to eat or drink and brushing her hair. I found joy in going to the hospital early in the morning and taking my dad coffee and a biscuit before work. I wanted to make sure that he was taken care of while he was taking such great care of my sweet momma. I enjoyed getting to spend that time alone with my parents in the mornings. Don’t get me wrong, not all of the moments were easy. There were difficult times to watch and difficult decisions that our family had to make. There were times when I just wanted to scream…just fix my mom!! But I am not God and neither are the doctors.

I have never been in the room when someone left this world. I didn’t know what to expect. I just knew I wanted to be there. We all did. And we were! There was still a part of me that was scared to be there. I was scared of how it would affect me and my memories of my mom, but it didn’t. God has given me peace. God has given me joy. God has given me the ability to see the beauty of life and see past the struggle and the pain my mom went through. Sure there are times that those thoughts creep in, I’m human…but when I think of my mom, those are not the things that first come to my mind.

When I think of my mom, I think of love. I think of how much she loved us all. I think of how feisty she could be. I think of how just hearing her say hello when she answered the phone could make me cry if I was going through a difficult time. I think of how she was there for me ALWAYS! I think of the times when my dad was picking at me, I could tattle and she was tell him to leave her daughter alone lol. I think of how she went across ropes to get to Keith Urban to get his autograph for me. I think of her laugh. I think of the hours we spent on the phone during the day when my kids were little before I started working full time. I think of her strength. I think of her character. I think of her smile. I think of how she bragged about her family.

I know sitting here today, being a mom myself I know and understand that she wanted to go before me, but it doesn’t make me miss her less. It is getting easier day by day. I know it will take time. I still haven’t sat in her chair. I haven’t been able to do that one yet.

I don’t think you ever quit missing your mom. I just hope that I have been half the mom to my boys and she was to me. She was a blessing to me and our family. My mom is missed by many!!

Psalms 147:3-5 says “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of the stars; he gives to all of them their names. Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure.” This is where my strength and joy come from…the Word of God!!

Love,

Katrina